Depression Archives - Deborah Gonzales

The Truth About Perfectionism

We live in a society that values things that appear perfect. And I suppose there are things that can be perfect. Architects can draw the perfect straight line, mathematicians can solve an equation with a perfect calculation, and a chocolate cake can be perfectly moist.

But as human beings, we can never reach a state of perfection because we will always be a work in progress. Perfection indicates a finality – a finished product – but we as humans are always growing and changing.

What is Perfectionism?

Many people view perfectionism as a positive attribute. They believe the more “perfect” they are, the more success they will have in life.

Perfectionism is NOT the same thing as always doing your best. It is important that we always do our best. By doing so, we can experience healthy achievements and growth. But perfectionism takes this concept to the extreme.

People with perfectionist tendencies often have self-defeating thoughts and/or behaviors that actually make it HARDER to achieve their goals. Perfectionism also can make the individual feel stress, anxiety, and depression.

Signs to Look For

Most human beings, from time to time, will strive for perfectionism in some aspect of their life. As an example, that “perfectly moist chocolate cake” I mentioned earlier got that way because the person who baked it was trying to get everything JUST RIGHT as a gift for someone’s birthday.

But there are those people who are “full-time” perfectionists. They strive for perfection in all aspects of their life.

Here are some signs you may be a perfectionist:

You don’t like to attempt tasks or activities unless you feel you can complete them perfectly.
You are end-oriented, meaning you focus little on the process of creating or learning something and put all of the emphasis on the outcome.
You cannot see a task as having been completed unless it meets your perfectionist standards.
You tend to procrastinate because you don’t like starting a task until you know you can perfectly complete it.
You tend to take far longer completing tasks than others. This can be problematic at work.

Getting Help

Again, perfectionism is not the same thing as doing your best. It is a condition whereby the individual is almost incapable of feeling joy or pride at what they accomplish because in their own minds, they are never quite good enough.

If you believe you may have traits of perfectionism and it is causing you stress, there are things you can do to change your behavior so you can live a healthier and happier life.
If you’d like to explore treatment options, please reach out to me.

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The Healing Power of Nature

One only needs to read a few lines from poets such as Frost, Wordsworth, and Thoreau to recognize the love for and connection to nature human beings have always had. Nature stirs our souls and imagination and brings beauty to our everyday lives. But it turns out, nature also brings a slew of benefits to our mental and physical health.

The Many Benefits of Spending Time in Nature

Research is now clearly indicating that spending time outdoors can have a positive impact on our health. Whether you bike, hike, or simply sit under a tree enjoying the sights and sounds, time in nature has shown to reduce stress, slow heart rate, improve pain, lower cortisol, and stimulate the immune system by boosting the production of natural killer cells that fight disease and infection.

In addition, time outside means time in the sun, and THAT means getting a nice boost of vitamin D, which can do everything from preventing disease, make our bones and teeth stronger, and improve our mood.

Give Ecotherapy a Try

Ecotherapy, which is also sometimes referred to as nature therapy, is a practice in the emerging field of ecopsychology. The idea behind this practice is that many modern people, whether they are aware of it or not, feel a massive disconnect from the natural world. When you think about it, our ancestors spent hundreds of thousands of years living WITH nature, feeling it under their bare feet, being outside, ebbing and flowing with the shifts in seasons.

But today, most of us are only connected to a digital device. Ecotherapy gets us away from our screens and out into the beauty of the natural world. Many clinicians, including myself, believe that the earth has a natural ability to balance us. When we get back in touch with the systems of nature, we can experience improved mental health.

If you are feeling out of sorts and like the idea of trying ecotherapy, you can simply spend more time outside. If you would like someone to help you reconnect with nature, please get in touch with me. I am a big proponent of nature therapy and use it in my practice.

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Why Someone Suffering From Depression Can’t Just ‘Get Over It’

When talking about depression, a lot of people forget that depression is an illness that requires proper attention and treatment. If you’re depressed, it can be incredibly frustrating to hear things like “Just get over it”, “You’re being really dramatic”, “You have to be strong”, “Learn to deal with it”, “Happiness is a choice”. You might start to think of things like ‘Why can’t I just get over it’? We can stop ourselves from doing destructive things like putting our hand in a fire, but when it comes to depression, it’s a bit difficult to just ‘stop’. There are a number of reasons why ‘get over it’ statements like this don’t help. Here are some of the best reasons why.

It’s an illness– Depression is an illness, an illness that you have little control over, just like any other illness. Nobody tells people with broken bones to get over their pain. So why should depressed people be forced to ‘get over’ theirs? Always remember that your pain is valid, and as long as you’re getting help by speaking to a mental health professional, you’re on the path to healing.
The brain is in control– Studies have shown that people experiencing depression have symptoms controlled by an unconscious emotional process that is usually beyond their control. Remember that depression is an incredibly complex disease caused by a combination of biological, psychological and sociological factors.
The symptoms can be debilitating– Depressed people exhibit both physical and emotional symptoms. These symptoms include things like nausea, headaches, restlessness, fatigue and insomnia.
You can’t wish it away– Nobody likes being depressed. Just because you want to feel better doesn’t mean you can wave a wand and get rid of it. You can desire to feel better, but until you work with a therapist, there is no magical route to getting better.
You can’t always pretend– People always act like depressed people should plaster a huge smile on their face and pretend like everything is perfect. You can’t just shove your emotions down and pretend like they don’t exist. The mind keeps replaying them. This is its way of reminding you that you have an ongoing issue that needs to be handled by a professional.
Depression isn’t ‘one size fits all’– People experience depression in different ways and exhibit different symptoms. Just because they can go about their daily activities efficiently doesn’t mean they’re not ill. Don’t compare yourself to other people. Depression changes everything and there’s no universal treatment. A therapist can help you find a treatment perfectly suited to you.

Depression is real and painful. Just because you can’t see or touch it doesn’t make it any less real. If you suffer from depression or know someone who does, working with a therapist is a good start to overcoming your depression. I am available to help. Contact me to book a therapy session.

Why Did I Feel Fine Yesterday? The Causes of Depression

With 322 million people suffering with depression worldwide, it’s not surprising to learn that in America, depression is among the most common mental disorders. The cause of depression is often simplified as a chemical imbalance in the brain, but the reality is that the disease is far more complicated. Scientific research has yet to completely understand the biology of depression. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, depression is caused by a combination of genetic, biological, environmental and psychological factors.

What Causes Depression?

The disease of depression is the complicated combination previously described; this disease gives you the predisposition to fall into a depression after having experienced a negative external event. For example, getting fired from a job might send one person into a deep depression, while another simply bounces back after experiencing the initial sadness and disappointment.

Many experts in the cognitive behavioral field believe that depression is caused by, and worsens, with distorted negative thinking. The emotions you experience during an episode of depression are created by negative thoughts and perceptions. Your feelings will result from the meaning you attach to those thoughts. If you eliminate distorted, negative thoughts, you will find it easier to cope with the negative event that triggered your depression.

Why Did I Feel Fine Yesterday?

If you felt fine yesterday, but today feel depressed and hopeless, distorted thinking may be to blame. As an example, let’s say you woke up late and had to rush to work. This put you in a bad mood, and you started thinking distorted negative thoughts. “I’m always late. I’m a loser. My boss is going to be angry at me all day. He probably hates me anyway. I’m going to get fired.” As the day goes on, every event will be processed through this negative filter, causing you to feel worse.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a form of psychotherapy that helps you challenge negative patterns of thought. By challenging these thoughts, you can improve your mood. For example, “I’m always late.” This is an overgeneralization. More than likely, you have not been late that often. If this is something you want to change, you can alter your schedule and habits to become more punctual.

Depression is a complicated illness, and as such is best managed by comprehensive treatment. If you’re suffering from depression, a licensed therapist can help you understand your mood disorder and develop strategies to cope with and improve your symptoms. Together, we can develop a plan for you to create the life you want to live. Give my office a call today, and let’s schedule a time to talk.

How Chronic Illness Can Affect Your Mental Health

If you are suffering from a chronic illness, you are not alone. Almost half of the population in the United States is currently battling some form of chronic physical illness. In fact, chronic illness is the number one driver of healthcare costs in America.

Some of the most prevalent examples of chronic illnesses are:

Epilepsy
HIV/AIDS
Endometriosis
Lupus
Arthritis
Diabetes
Heart disease
Fibromyalgia

Many people suffering from a chronic illness can become depressed. It is estimated that roughly one-third of chronic illness patients suffer from depression, a rate that is significantly higher than in the general population.

Depression is often an immediate response to the diagnosis. It can be overwhelming to be told you will need to be treated for your illness for weeks, perhaps even a lifetime. Certain types of chronic illness can also, and quite suddenly, change how a person lives their day-to-day life. They may not be able to do the same things and, in some cases, completely lose their independence.

There are physical illnesses which can cause depression by hampering the central nervous system or endocrine system. Some examples would include thyroid disease, Cushing’s disease, Parkinson’s disease and chronic pain.

Symptoms of Depression

If you or someone you know has recently been diagnosed with a chronic disease, it’s important to watch out for signs of depression. These can include:

Feeling sad and hopeless
Losing interest in once-loved hobbies and activities
Changes in appetite (eating too much or too little)
Trouble with sleep (sleeping too much or too little)
Lack of energy
Trouble focusing
Thoughts of suicide

Becoming educated about the link between chronic illness and depression is extremely important. So is seeking help. Be sure to discuss any symptoms with your doctor. He or she may be able to refer you to a therapist.

Many patients have found they can treat their depression right alongside their illness by using medication, psychotherapy or a combination of both. It is also helpful to surround yourself with a loving support network of friends and family.

If you or a loved one is experiencing depression as a result of living with a chronic illness and would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

10 Signs You Might Be a “Highly Sensitive Person”

Are you a highly sensitive person (HSP)? If so, you’re not alone. It is estimated that roughly 15 to 20 percent of the population is highly sensitive. In fact, scientists now believe there is a gene behind this trait.

But what does it mean to be highly sensitive? The HSP is generally defined as someone with “acute physical, mental, and emotional responses to external (social, environmental) or internal (intra-personal) stimuli.”

The bad news is, being highly sensitive can make many “normal” life situations feel awkward and downright uncomfortable. But fear not, there are some benefits to being highly sensitive, and I’ll share those a little later in this post.

Signs You May Be a Highly Sensitive Person

If you are curious whether you may be part of the population that is highly sensitive, here are 10 signs to look for:

You are quick to feel negative emotions such as sadness and anxiety.
You may feel physical symptoms in relation to these emotions, such as headaches and muscle tension.
You become overwhelmed with physical stimuli such as sound, light and smells.
You have never felt comfortable around crowds. The energy of the crowd easily overwhelms you.
You become very emotional over the injustices of the world. (you cry or become angry at the thought of children or animals being harmed, as an example)
You often worry what others think of you.
You take things personally.
You have a hard time letting things go and receiving critical feedback.
You avoid most social situations and prefer to stay home alone.
You startle easily to loud noises.

Benefits of Being a Highly Sensitive Person

As I mentioned earlier, while being a HSP can cause you to feel awkward or overwhelmed at times, there are some definite perks to being highly sensitive. For starters, you are someone who can enjoy subtle sensory detail that a majority of the population misses. You get pleasure from noticing the end of day light play. You’ll notice subtle shades of color and texture and feel immense pleasure at the complexities of Indian cuisine.

You’re also someone others like being around because you are aware of others’ feelings, needs and emotions. Because of this natural empathy, HSPs make great teachers, managers and leaders.

HSPs are also incredibly creative. Many artists, musicians and famous actors are highly sensitive people who have gifted the world with their talent and insight into what it means to be human.

As you can see, if you can manage the negative aspects of being a highly sensitive person, you can reap some pretty great rewards.

If you or someone you love suspects they are a HSP and would like to explore treatment options to manage those negative aspects, please get in touch with me. I’d love to discuss how I may be able to help.

The Best Medicine is a Treadmill: How Daily Exercise Can Treat Depression

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 9% of American adults live with depression. It’s also worth mentioning that a major depressive episode is the leading cause of disability for Americans between the ages of 15 and 44.

Antidepressants are commonly prescribed to treat people with moderate or severe depression. And while these drugs do offer some relief, they often come with some pretty nasty side effects such as:

headaches
nausea
trouble sleeping
dizziness
diarrhea
weakness and fatigue
anxiety
stomach upset
dry mouth
sexual problems such as low sex drive, erectile dysfunction, or ejaculation problems
trouble urinating
fast heart rate
sweating
memory problems
fatigue
weight gain

That’s quite a list.

The obvious problem is these side effects can make someone who is depressed feel even worse. But there is some good news.

Exercise Helps Beat Depression Naturally

Studies on exercise and depression are conclusive: Not only does exercise treat depression, it can also prevent it. In fact, researchers from Duke University found exercise to be as effective as medicine.

Exercise not only increases blood flow to the brain, it also releases endorphins, which are the body’s own natural antidepressants. Exercise also releases other neurotransmitters, like serotonin, which lift mood.

The really good news is, it only takes moderate exercise three times a week to reap the antidepressant benefits. You don’t have to train for a marathon or a triathlon to feel better. Here are a few exercise ideas to get you started:

Walk Your Dog

Take your dog(s) for a half hour walk around the neighborhood. Not only will your body release endorphins but your dog’s health will also benefit from routine exercise.

Go for a Bike Ride

Family bike rides are a great way to bond and get a good workout at the same time. If the weather doesn’t permit outdoor biking, a stationary bike is a good investment.

Swim

Swimming is one of the absolute best total body exercises. As a bonus, the steady movements through water also has a naturally calming effect.

Walk at Lunch

Grab a few friends and/or colleagues on your lunch break and go for a half hour walk.

Exercise doesn’t have to be hard or complicated. Whatever form you like, commit to doing that at least three times a week and see if you don’t start to feel better.

You may also want to speak with a therapist, who can help you navigate your emotions and offer tools for coping. If you’d like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.